The Most Important Thing

The first thing I did after we split apart was get the tattoo I’d always wanted but had never got because you said it would “ruin me”

As if I was some pristine doll that needed to be kept in perfect condition

The next thing I did was stop going to church because I never believed in religion anyways

I never dared to tell you this but

I’ve always believed that god was the wind and the mountains

And Jesus was the sun
Never a human
Or even a man

I then realized all I had lost in losing you

The making love

The comfort

The Sunday mornings

Someone to come home to

But leaving was the best thing that could have ever happened to me because

My dreams that died in apologies and uncertainty began to resurrect

My art that you laughed at came to life again and

Slowly but surely I gained back the best parts of me that you stole

The most important parts

By removing you from my life

I gained my hands back

The hands that so vigorously, passionately, beautifully, and violently scribble words across pages in hopes of it meaning something.

You convinced me that my words didn’t matter

That my most important parts didn’t matter

But I am here to tell you that you are wrong

I am here to tell you that it is more important than anything

It’s what fuels the passion in my belly and makes me feel most alive

Most rebellious

Most free

And here I am to set the record straight for my future lovers

That I am not yours

And I never will be

I belong in the etching of my handwriting and the beating of my heart

And no one will ever take that away from me.

And that is the most important thing.


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